'Good vibes', 'Gratitude', 'Neg'. 'Anxiety'. 'Toxic Positivity'; these are some of the buzzwords that have been swirling around my head for the last couple of weeks. I was one of those people who actually flourished during Lockdown; whilst there were financial stresses and worries for the future, the beginning of Lockdown forced me to stop, reflect and find unexpected joys in the world. After months of burnout and limited self-care, I suddenly had time to cook, read, study yoga, draw and catch up with my family and friends in a guilt free way.
But as Lockdown started to ease and the world began to slowly turn it's cogs back into motion, that old familiar feeling of dread started to creep back in day by day. The sense of peace and appreciation I had cultivated over the last few months started to give way to that old feeling of 'where is my life going?' and all the competitiveness and anxieties that come with trying to live 'your best Instagram ready life'. The more I've spoken to people, the more I've realised that many of us feel the same way.
For many of us (and by 'us' I mostly mean freelancers), the world closing in for a while allowed us a respite from the increasingly fast paced pressure filled life. More than that, it allowed us to look at the world and take a stance against things that have long been wrong (BLM, the failing education system, social disparity, the environment...the list goes on...). The world has changed forever, and we have the opportunity to keep changing for the better. To choose happiness over success, to turn our back on the pressure to 'achieve' for anyone other than ourselves. We have the choice to care for others, support others rather than compete against them.
To move forward requires work. We must take the time to really tune into ourselves and our true feelings, to connect with our values and to set the boundaries by which we want to live. After all, sh*t happens, often when we least expect it. If 2020 has taught me anything, it's that we can't control the world, only our reaction to it. That's uncomfortable and scary. But what if we didn't turn our back on discomfort? What if we stared it straight in the eye and then made our peace with it? We can easily forget that when we feel discomfort we have the choice to accept or change things. The choice is yours. The power is yours. X
